In our parents’ day, there was a whiff of scandal associated with the divorcee: a woman who had left her marriage had to be some kind of prostitute, after all, and was considered “tainted merchandise.” Today, however, divorce is much more common and not necessarily the result of some kind of scandalous mix-up. After all, many couples choose to end their marriage simply because they no longer love each other, or because they find themselves arguing so much that they just can’t get along.

If you are 30 or older, you are likely to come across many attractive women who are divorced. And you will discover that, in many ways, they are different from single women. They’ve already been married at least once, which means there’s not much mystery left when it comes to men.

They have lived with the dirty socks left on the floor, the milk they drink straight from the carton, and the unfortunate odors that all men give off when they are not concerned with making a good impression.

And also, for some reason, they have seen their marriage fall apart. If you are interested in attracting a divorced woman, here are some simple guidelines:

1. Being fun to be around.

A divorced woman has already been in a serious relationship, and there are few things more serious than divorce. She wants to laugh and have a good time. Most likely, her ex-husband was not very nice at the end of their relationship; now she wants someone to make her feel good about her life. So I know that guy!

2. Don’t dwell on the past.

That goes for both you and her. Talk about her past relationships, of course, but focus on starting a new and better chapter in her life. If you yourself are divorced, don’t endlessly talk about your ex-wife. Answer her questions respectfully, then move on. The two of you should look to the future, not dwell on the mistakes of the past.

3. Take the relationship easy.

You may be the first man she’s gotten close to since your divorce, and no matter how eager you may be for intimacy, you may not be emotionally ready yet. Have dinner, go dancing, see a movie or a concert, kiss her goodnight, and then go home. There’s always time for more if you keep seeing each other, but you don’t want to sabotage what could be a great relationship by moving too quickly to the next phase. You will be more attractive to her if you don’t push her.

4. Wait until you meet your children.

If you have children, being the new man in your mother’s life is a big responsibility. Wait until you’re sure you definitely want to get involved with her for more than a few casual dates before introducing yourself to her family. This will help both of you, and she will appreciate your maturity and consideration.

5. Don’t compare yourself to your ex.

You may very well be more handsome, a nicer guy, and make more money than him, but it’s not a competition. In fact, if he harbors warm feelings for his ex-husband, he may be upset with you for implying that he’s a loser. After all, if he’s a loser, what was she doing with him? Comparing yourself with her previous spouse is just asking for trouble.

6. Make her feel safe.

A woman who’s been divorced has already had her heart broken once, and she’s probably worried that her next relationship will end just as badly. Be trustworthy, honest, and kind. Make her realize you’re not going out with her, and then write her off. She deserves your respect and love, so treat her that way!

7. Prepare to be a “rebound” lover.

No matter what you do right, she may not be emotionally ready to start a new relationship. She may get nothing more than green lights from her divorced woman, only to get the “I think we should just be friends” speech when she least expects it. If you’re patient, she might still get close, but then again, she might not. Remember that she has already been burned once and that her fear is natural. Don’t take it personally, just dust yourself off and continue living your life to the fullest.

There are unique challenges in attracting a divorced woman, but with a great deal of patience and respect, you may find that she is wiser, more grounded, and better equipped for a relationship than a single woman. She just remembers that all women need to feel appreciated, whether they have been married before or not.