Some estranged spouses have more than one reconciliation attempt. It would be wonderful if your good intentions were all you need to successfully reconcile. But for many, this is not the case. Sometimes one of the spouses changes their mind, which is very painful for everyone involved. And if the spouse changes his mind and finally wants to reconcile once again, there may be some doubt about the sincerity of that same spouse.

Someone might address a concern such as, “I’d love to believe that my spouse really wants to get back together with me. But I’ve been down this road before, and the result has hurt me. A couple of months ago, he told me he thought he wanted to reconcile, but He said he wasn’t ready to move back in. He wanted to take it easy. I wasn’t entirely happy about this because I felt like he had been patient all along, but I felt like I didn’t have much of a choice. So I complied. Things seemed to be going well for a couple of weeks and then he told me he was changing his mind. This was extremely painful. I felt like he almost lied to me or that he shouldn’t have said anything until he was absolutely sure. Well, last night we went out for drinks and it’s possible That he had too much alcohol. By the end of the night, he was babbling again about wanting to save our marriage. I thought it was just the alcohol talking. But this morning he called me and asked me. he asked if I had considered reconciliation. I told him that it was very difficult for me to take him seriously when he left me before. He asked me what he had to do to try this on. I mean he needs to come home, but I don’t want to push my luck. What can you do to show me that you are serious about reconciliation?”

Frankly, the most reassuring thing for me was the weather. The more time I spent with my husband and I getting along, the more confident I was that it was really going to work. But, there are probably some proposals that I could make that would make you feel more secure. I will discuss some of them below.

Make a remarkable effort to spend significant, meaningful time with yourself: I agree that it can be risky to push your spouse to move out before they are ready. I have seen many attempts at reconciliation fail in this way. But that doesn’t mean they can’t spend a lot of time together. When trying to reconcile, the idea is to spend more and more time together until the transition back to living is easy. So you don’t want to see your spouse still taking up a lot of “space” or not spending free time with you. Because this would indicate that it is not as serious as it might have led you to believe. When someone is serious about reconciliation, they work to clear their calendars for you. They put some thought and effort into the time the two of you spend together.

You don’t feel him arguing too much about his feelings: Frankly, it’s normal to have doubts when trying to reconcile. There is a lot at stake here. I wanted my husband back more than anything. And yet, I was always afraid that something would go wrong. I didn’t doubt my feelings for him or for our marriage. I just doubted that things were really going to work out. I was always so paranoid that something would go wrong. So while you may see his spouse acting a little hesitant about everything fitting in for him, he shouldn’t have too many doubts about his feelings for you. Surely there is some doubt. Because you are separated and the relationship is fragile. Still, I like to believe that most people can feel the difference between a little hesitation and a great lack of feeling. Both of you may have some concerns about being successful. But you shouldn’t worry about the fact that the will is there. You should be able to feel his sincerity and the fact that his feelings, although fragile, are real.

You are seeing an obvious and undeniable improvement: Generally speaking, when both people want to reconcile, both are on their best behavior and both are doing their best to make sure it works. That’s why you should see (and feel) a definite improvement in your situation right now. Things shouldn’t feel so tense anymore. It should be clear that things are looking up. You should feel hopeful. Most people can feel that things are changing, even if there are some challenges along the way.

In short, you should see sincere behavior and obvious attempts on their part to put you at ease. You can’t expect everything to be perfect. But you should feel relief because most of the time, you can feel the tide change.