Having read George’s autobiography, Lord Byron, I have no doubt that, as Lady Caroline Lamb is supposed to describe him, he was “crazy, bad, and dangerous to know.” Possibly it was wrong; He was certainly remarkably and repeatedly self-centered, and there are reports that he has been no less than generous to people who deserved better. It was certainly dangerous to know, breaking the hearts of men and women, including, supposedly, his half-sister Augusta. But he was definitely not angry. The closest description of Lady Lamb would be Emily Bronte’s beautifully crafted fictional character; Heathcliff. His complete inability to empathize with others, his recorded cruelty to animals, seemingly driven by nothing more than morbid curiosity, and of course his lifelong obsession with one person, Cathy. Of course, Heathcliff is not a real, flesh and blood person with a mind to analyze, but if he were, and based on the characteristic described in Wuthering Heights, it would suggest that he had borderline personality disorder.

It would be unfair to say that Emily Bronte idealized her hero. In fact, I think his intention, as suggested by those who know much more about the subject than I do, was to portray Catherine and Hinton as the happy couple that their readers should admire and emulate. As a rebel group, most of us prefer the dramatic, headstrong and passionate Cathy and her seemingly devoted Heathcliff. However, his story is fictitious. In reality, borderline personality disorder (DPB) is a mental health condition and is understood as an extremely demanding set of symptoms to deal with; whether you have BDP yourself or live with someone who does. There are a variety of behaviors listed under the BDP classification, the claim that symptoms are difficult to accept is a generalization based on the reasoning that whatever symptom is displayed is defiant and consistent.

Dark and brooding heroes, continually obsessed with their loved one, it’s a pretty fantasy. As long as it remains a state of being that we don’t have to live with, day after day, year after year, it can seem almost flattering to be the subject of such an approach. It is not flattering; it’s exhausting, exhausting, and generally extremely negative. Not only is the supposed idol placed on a pedestal and admired, but also blamed for everything. And I mean everything; the news, the rain, people talking on the bus, complete strangers laughing together. Paranoia is one of the most common characteristics of borderline personality disorder (BPD). As is the case with many mental health classifications, it is not so much that the behaviors themselves are uncommon, but rather that the extent to which they manifest in certain people is extreme. When behavior affects everyday life, it becomes classifiable.

People with BPD can be overly demanding, so they tend not to have a wide circle of friends because of it. Unfortunately, this means that the chosen one tends to carry a heavier load than might be the case. Living with someone with BPD does not mean that they adore you and adore you; rather you are the boss of the whipping, the scapegoat. There is nothing fictional about TLP and there is nothing romantic about living with it.

The bottom line is that petty, moody fictional heroes are fascinating; Living with a volatile and illogical person who continually demands your full attention is considerably less. When a member of your family or a loved friend develops mental health problems, of course we all do our best for them. But if you meet someone new, someone wild and exciting that your friends and family warn you about, then it’s not necessarily a romantic case of helpless lovers. So before you voluntarily get involved with someone who seems to only need the love of a good woman, or a man, someone ‘crazy, bad and dangerous to know’, just think about it first. It could save you the pain of a doomed relationship.