Listening can be difficult. It requires us to tune in more than actual words and includes gestures, body language, and the ability to focus our attention and concentration on someone other than ourselves.

How often have you talked to someone on the phone and realized they were multitasking and worried during the conversation?

Were they really listening? Probably not.

Are you someone who occasionally tunes out when talking to another person because you’re eager to give your opinion and thoughts? Are you really listening? Probably not.

Do you tend to tune out occasionally when someone is talking to you and you don’t hear what’s being said because your mind wanders off to something completely unrelated? Are you really listening? Absolutely not.

There are four key communication skills to improve interpersonal relationships that require listening. They are:

o The ability to listen without judging.

o Show understanding of what has been said

o Acknowledging and accepting another person’s point of view

o Refrain from imposing your personal beliefs on another person.

Sometimes someone may want to vent and is not interested in hearing feedback or advice. Being able to passively listen to that person’s words with full attention and without responding verbally is a powerful “non-verbal” message. If done with an open heart and empathy for that person’s feelings, this can allow you to tap into your own inner wisdom, as well as the ability to go within yourself for exploration and guidance.

Simple, concise verbal responses to another person’s words convey the idea that you are listening by saying expressions such as; “Oh”, “I see”, “Interesting” and other non-judgmental messages.

If you really want to respond, communicate your willingness to continue listening with statements like; “Tell me about it” or “Would you like to talk about it”?

Giving the speaker “feedback” requires an active listener to only give back what they think that person means, not give advice, and only clarify what they are unsure about. Active listening encourages the free expression of problematic feelings. It is not a statement of the person speaking. “Can you tell me more?” or “Let’s see if I understand what you just said”, are typical phrases of active listening.

The ability to be an effective listener must be natural and realistic. Learning new skills for open communication takes practice, time, and awareness. For more information on this topic, visit http://www.anger411.com