So does anyone else think it’s a crazy, crazy, crazy world? I know for a fact that it is. I have seen the ugliness, the rudeness, the selfishness. I have seen firsthand dashed hopes, lost dreams, fallen castles. I’ve seen evil win. I’ve seen good shakes all the way to the finish line.

BUT… I also know that out there somewhere it’s the opposite; true beauty, nobility and selflessness. A place where good survives regardless of its surroundings. Where purity and refreshing honesty, though hopelessly outnumbered and out of sync with their surroundings, still glow like a candle in the dark. Archaic terms, I know; survivors of another time, another place, a long time ago when things were simpler, people were more honest, goals were clearer. When good and evil were not so close together; the gray had not yet taken control and turned reality upside down.

Those of you who long for those days know what I’m talking about. Regardless of your age, whether old or young, you realize that your ideals, your hopes, even your belief in your fellow man, are hopelessly outdated and unrealistic according to those around you. You don’t live in the real world, they say. Andy Griffith’s Mayberry is no more; Father Knows Best is a ridiculous thought, and Gilligan’s Island was really just one giant orgy, no matter what you think the survivors did. And Miss Kitty at Gunsmoke… well, we’re not even going there.

So what are you doing my old-fashioned friend of 20, 40 or 80?? Learn to “fit in” Do you change your modus operandi? Do you give in to cynicism and lose faith in everything you hold dear? Nope!!! You do not.

But how do you hold on to yourself in this situation? Life is so busy, so rushed. There is no time, there are bills to pay, life goes by very, very fast. But she takes the head; before you know it, it will be over, my friend. Our time here is the blink of an eye. Difficult as it may seem, priorities must be named and maintained. How does that song say…”you have to stand up for something or you’ll fall in love with anything…”. It is true.

Let me tell you how I survive. Maybe it works for you, maybe it doesn’t. That is something you will have to decide for yourself. First of all, I have children. Bunch of children. Some grown up, some still small. How did I raise believers in good in this evil world? How will they survive in a society of dogs that eat dogs? Here is my answer. They will survive. They will survive with grace, with inner light, with clear eyes and pure intentions. They will be knocked down, disappointed, discouraged… who wouldn’t? And of course, in a world of emos and doom and gloom, they’ll stick out like a sore thumb. And that??? Is it so bad to be different in a world of tattoos, piercings, sex, drugs, alcohol, atheism… you name it?

Now I’m not saying you have to do the “Amish” thing. That’s cool, fine and dandy for the Amish; It has worked for them for a long time. But I would never fly around my house. I’m not saying you have to lock them in a room and force them to watch “Smiles and Tears” 10,000 times. (Although if you’ve never seen it, it’s a great place to start. Pop some popcorn and enjoy!)

It all comes down to this. It’s about options. You can’t take choices away from kids and make it all for them. You’ll end up with weak-minded followers waiting for someone to tell them what to do, and friends, it probably won’t always be you. You want strong-minded kids who aren’t afraid to stand up for what’s decent and good in the world, no matter how unpopular it may be.

The key to all this is SAFETY. Children have to feel safe. The more confident and self-esteem children have, the less likely they are to follow the crowd, the better they feel about themselves, and the less likely they are to try to define themselves by seeking peer approval.

Some people go to extremes in the wrong direction, hoping to protect their children from this big, scary world. To some extent, yes, we have to. If we love them, we will be a buffer zone until such time as they are mature enough to handle themselves. Unfortunately, these scared folks think the way to accomplish all of this is to wrap their kids in cellophane, build a moat and drawbridge, get some Rottweilers to guard things, and cut them off from the outside world. All you get out of that particular sequence of events is misfit kids who need someone to tell them what to do and how to do it for the rest of their lives. Once they get loose in the big old world, and the terrifying novelty wears off, you tend to have children even wilder than the world you were protecting them from, nine times out of ten! I’ve seen it more times than I can count. You took away their options, you took away their conflicts, you took away the opportunity to learn to stand their ground and deal with their surroundings first hand. It’s a growing thing, and they grew up without learning those very important lessons. Now you take them out and expect them to learn to swim with sharks without swimming lessons or lifeguards. Good course.

Now I’m not stressing the homeschool crowd. No problem! Homeschooling can be great if, and that’s a big IF, it’s done right. If not used as an escape from the world. If you haven’t dug a ditch. Unfortunately, many people use it for exactly that, with an agenda of its own that would surprise some more moderate and responsible homeschooling parents.

Teach your children how to make decisions. Teach them logical reasoning processes, clear thinking, kindness, and honesty. Let them know that there is ugliness out there, and that they are going to have to deal with it every day, and make more and more decisions as they get older. Don’t send them into battle unprepared. Your children are not cannon fodder.

Let me tell you it takes time. Time, that precious commodity that no one seems to have enough of. By the time mommy and daddy finish their work, they’re exhausted, they want to sleep and see the silly box. Order McDonald’s and forget it and make the world disappear. So the children will be entertained, with their electronic substitutes for real life and real activities. Video games, computer chat, cell phone conversations from dawn to dusk. The next day everything starts again. If our kids are lucky, all of us guilty and exhausted parents manage to drag them to some after-school sport or activity. Again, I am not referring to extracurricular activities! they are wonderful. They help our children discover who they are in this world, what they like to do and what they are good at. But these activities aren’t a substitute for quality one-on-one time, just like watching TV in the same room. So what is the answer? Is there an answer? I bet there is.

It’s so simple that it’s easy to overlook. Here is the great Number One. Family dinners… at the table… together… TV off. Conversations, stories, opinions, ideas… joys, sorrows. True and honest interaction from the heart. It doesn’t have to be every night of the week. Start twice a week and work up to what you can handle. If this is not the norm, it may seem awkward at first; but that will pass. I promise. There may even be disagreements, sibling rivalry. Alright! Just don’t let it get out of hand; Change the subject and don’t give up. It is very, very worth it. It is the first step to reunite as a family. And remember; the “Brady Bunch” was just a TV show!

Don’t let it stop there. Keep it simple. It doesn’t have to be a trip to Disneyland. The things they will remember are the simple things you don’t think much about. Hide and seek in the dark. Catch fireflies. Picnics in the backyard. Collecting bugs. Tell ghost stories around a fire. Fishing trips to catch 4″ fish. Trips to the lake, to the mountains. Expose them to theater, plays, dance, music. Family reading on a cold winter night in front of the fire. Tea parties. Sandcastles. New puppies Showing them there’s a big world out there and lots of amazing things in it Appreciation for God’s creation Plant some flowers, some seeds with the kids Pick the tomatoes you grow Let them help you with dinner.

Create your own family traditions to pass on. It doesn’t matter what they are. They are special to your family and make them unique and bring them together. For example, one of ours is hotdogs and mac and cheese on Halloween night before trick-or-treating. I always have, I always will. Otherwise it wouldn’t be Halloween.

Sports are great. They teach team concepts between your children and the other children, and help build relationships. But quality time with you is different. Be the one to throw the baseball, play basketball with your kids.

One of my favorite local sayings is “it’s not what you have, it’s what you do with what you have”. Forgive the imprecise grammar. But the point is there. Is it worth trading in that bigger house, fancy car, and lavish lifestyle for your kids? They are only small for a little while. Your time with them is limited and will be over in the blink of an eye. Don’t be so busy that you miss the important things. Get your priorities in order. Enjoy them now before it’s too late. Reduce essential material. You’ll never regret. It doesn’t take money to have a wonderful relationship with your children. It just takes time.

And trust me, it’s an investment you’ll never regret.