I was sitting with a friend last week talking about business and life and how The four Agreements(TM)(1) has played aside, when he said something that really hit me. He said that once he started implementing The four Agreements(TM), he realized how obviously true they are. We talked for a while longer about the economic situation in which we find ourselves, and the reaction that many people have had. Many of us have heard that what matters is not so much what happens to you, but how you react to it. But do we really pay attention to that? We seem to react, then look back and wonder what happened. The reaction is not necessarily intended; in fact, we are usually not even aware of what is really going on inside of us before we act.
Being impeccable with your word (The First Agreement), is about being aware of yourself, your reaction to situations and acting in line with your truth. It is achieved by not reacting out of fear or panic or anything that is not authentic or helpful to you. Many of us get lost in the chaos of it all and forget who we really are. We forget what is important to us. We start to doubt, and when that doubt takes hold of us, we are no longer flawless. Then we take things personally (The Second Agreement): we think that everything is happening to us, for us, or even not for us! We hold on so tightly, more out of fear than inspiration, that we create a resistance that repels rather than attracts. We make assumptions (The Third Agreement) by filling in information that isn’t really there. The assumptions are not only about others, but also about our abilities and motivations. We are so worried about the future, or regretting the past, that it is difficult to make the best of it (The Fourth Agreement) and stay in the present moment. We drift further from our true selves until we barely recognize ourselves.
Consider business owners and bosses who react with anger or frustration. Your comments and even non-verbal behaviors can cause subtle negative influences to trickle down to employees. This can create a ripple effect of discouragement that leaves these leaders wondering “what’s going on with my sales team?” However, think about the companies that have reacted by cutting marketing and training, and then ask yourself, “why aren’t people creative and productive around here?” and “why are we falling in sales?” Without awareness, leaders can end up simultaneously clamping down on a sales team, hoping to increase productivity, while actually reducing the team’s ability to deliver results.
When we pick up a mirror and look inside, that’s when we see the obvious truth. It’s not so much what’s going on in the world, in our workplace, in our families, or in any relationship with others. It is what happens within us that causes reaction and change. It is obviously true that the only person who can create your story is you.
