Here’s a poignant question that uncomfortably rests on the hearts of many victims.

“What is it about power that makes powerful people abuse it without seeming to know they are abusing it?”

We know that there are perpetrators of abuse who seem to revel in it. But many abuses occur because the abuser believes he has a right to do what he does. It is a disappointment. They are deluded. And they will argue in black and blue that they did it for good reasons. They don’t seem to understand, or don’t even want to understand, the impact of their behavior.

Perhaps we can ignore that there is a reasonable explanation for total ignorance in those who would abuse power, such as the arrogance syndrome. Power that is maintained for a long time, that finds continuous success and has relative freedom; well, that power, the arrogance syndrome suggests, is dangerous. And the key danger is that a deficit develops: Empathy tends to slip away from the successful person gaining power.

The more successful a person is, the more their empathy can leak.

Sustained success in any field is potentially dangerous because empathy, more importantly, the ability to empathize, can diminish. It is the greatest of human tragedies when caring takes a back seat with people who have power even over a life.

When empathy becomes skill

How much worse is it that a leader can fake empathy, that a key part of leadership performance is ‘putting on’ empathy when it will benefit them rather than using it wherever they go. One is a manipulative spirit, coercing for one’s own benefit, but perhaps under the guise of doing a common good; the other is a heart transformed and operated by God. One is saved for particular occasions to maximize positive emotional impact; the other is a way of life made not for the approval of men, but for the approval of God. One is the type of thinking that is selectively deployed; the other is a way of thinking that tends to always be thinking of others.

There are many professions and many types of people who are tempted to develop empathy as a skill. But empathy is a matter of the heart, and although empathy can be feigned, no one is fooled by God. God inevitably reaches out to those who feign or point out virtue.

What underlies a feigned empathy is, ironically, narcissism. What seems like empathy is not always the case.

The root of narcissism

I can tell you from my studies on narcissism, that narcissists lack empathy, they exploit people, and they feel entitled to do so. However, we are all capable of being narcissistic, especially when we are tempted to gain something through the use of people. This explains why successful people are prone to abuse people; In all fields of activity, a lot of work is required to maintain success. It is never easy and it is always more difficult to sustain than we think. The pressure to succeed tempts us to subvert an ethic honorable for the kind of power that can be gained stealthily.

… narcissists lack empathy, exploit people, and feel entitled to do so.

None of us like to be viewed or viewed as narcissistic, and this especially applies to those who abuse power. This probably explains why someone who would abuse power could be completely unaware of it, not see it as abuse, and even justify their behavior.

If we live responsible lives before God, our Lord will show us where we are tempted to be confused with the kind of narcissistic attitude that potentially abuses people through the misuse of our power.

The person who denies his capacity for narcissism is in danger of using narcissism to abuse.

We begin with a poignant question that uncomfortably rests on the hearts of many victims.

“What is it about power that makes powerful people abuse it without seeming to know they are abusing it?”

There is certainly the reality of the arrogance syndrome, but if we truly wish not to abuse others and allow God to nurture empathy within us, then we will see our ability to abuse people and situations possibly before, and even while, the abuse. happens. . And when it does take place, hopefully, there will be an awareness that provides impetus for restitution through a suitably acceptable apology.

There is no substitute for being accountable to God in everything we do.

Why is the abuser abusing? … because they lack empathy.