So your mother doesn’t talk to you. I know it’s hard, so let me speak for you.

“My mom doesn’t talk to me. So Mother’s Day is painful. When someone mentions that they dated their mom, I get crushed. I feel like a part of me is missing.”

It’s a day you should be enjoying. It should be that simple. I have a mother and I love her, but unfortunately the feeling is not reciprocated. Or so it seems.

She is alive and well, and lives in the same city as me. But we don’t talk. We fight over something trivial, for everyone else, but it’s a mountain for us. We might as well be at opposite ends of the earth. We have been in the same room at family events and she hugs and laughs with everyone but me. “

How can a mother not love her son? Or if she loves the child, why doesn’t she show it? We read about mothers who mistreat their children, starve them, beat them, abandon them. A child surely is the most precious gift. What makes a mother reject this precious fruit of her being?

a) For some it is a resentment of the father. The father abandoned them. The father abused the mother at some point. Every time they see the child, they see the father, because the child looks like the father.

b) For others the child has done something, the mother cannot forgive. The child may have done it many times. They just can’t help it. They have apologized, but it keeps happening. The mother cannot accept that it will happen again and she therefore prefers not to have a relationship with the child.

c) For many, the mother refuses to talk to the child, because they do not like what the child has become, or the child’s partner, or their lifestyle.

d) For others, it is the mother who initially did something that really upset the child. They had words, and the boy said very hurtful words. Words can cut like a knife and the mother has not recovered from the wounds.

The mother is privately thinking, “My son won’t talk to me. We fought months/years ago. I miss him, but I won’t make the first move. If they called me, I would be there for them.”

Meanwhile, the mother is listening to the phone on Mother’s Day, wondering if her son will call today. But the phone remains silent. Or when it does ring, she struggles to hide the disappointment that she is not that particular son or daughter. The curious thing is that, although the mother has 6 children, the one she does not call her is always on her mind. Remember the parable of the prodigal son.

This separated mother/son relationship is not that rare. We estimate that 1 in 10 mother-child relationships lack genuine love and friendship. When the friends are discussing what they did with their mothers, the boy feels pangs of pain. It doesn’t matter what age the child is, from 5 to 75. The feeling of pain is the same.

Solutions:

How to reconcile with your mother…

Send a text message or a card. This gesture is impersonal and avoids awkward silence. It could help break the ice.

Apologize. Say sorry. Even if you can’t see her point of view, just humble yourself and apologize for upsetting her.

If there is no answer to the above, ask someone you know to mediate and test the waters. See if there is a willingness in him to talk to a third party.

Remember that we don’t live forever, so you need to take advantage of the time now. Don’t put it off until tomorrow, next week, next month, or next year, which may not happen.

This time can pass. The beautiful moments spent in a good relationship will be remembered forever. She leaves the resentment behind, closes her eyes, forgets and jumps into a new phase of friendship.

If none of the above works, know that you tried and seek out surrogate mothers who would genuinely be honored if you asked them to be your foster mother. And talk about it with close friends. Don’t bury it, to celebrate it in your body. Break free. you never know Time heals, so try again in a few months.

Now I have a good relationship with my mother, but it hasn’t always been that way. I was there, bought the shirt and sold it again.